When home isn't just home anymore

Home is now our whole worlds.

Downtown Kingston, NY

I’m moving in two weeks, so I’ve been thinking a lot about how the pandemic has changed our concept of home.

When Renan and I first moved into our current Brooklyn apartment in 2019, it felt like the perfect place: a one bedroom in a well-maintained building, with an in-unit washer dryer (the dream in New York) and a roof deck (perfect for having parties!) in the same neighborhood we’d lived in for years and loved.

In the Before Times, home was just a place to lay our heads at night, so we never felt like we needed much space. We spent most of our time living busy lives outside of our homes: going to the office everyday, going to the gym, going to restaurants and bars, seeing shows and movies and museum exhibitions, having dinners and drinks with friends.

Then, of course, 2020 came along and we both suddenly started working from home, exercising at home, hanging out at home, “socializing” at home. Our homes became our entire worlds.

Now, home isn’t just where we cook and sleep, but also our offices, our gyms, our movie theaters, our bars, our doctor’s offices (telemedicine!), our everything. Before, our homes only had to perform one function — serve as a home base in between the rest of our lives. But now, our homes must perform every function. It’s quite a big shift shift for a generation (millennials, of course) that has become known for preferring experiences over stuff and for delaying marriage and home ownership in favor of travel, transience, and building their careers.

So it’s no surprise that now, when our overscheduled pre-pandemic lives have ground to a halt and we’re forced to spend more time at home than ever before, we both love and hate our homes. There have been countless articles since the pandemic began about how Americans have turned to nesting, how we’re becoming homemakers. I’ve been torn between feeling like I can’t stand my apartment after another week of 24 hours a day walking between my bedroom and living room, and simultaneously feeling inspired to take on all kinds of home improvement projects in the hopes of making the place I spend so much time in a little better. We feel safest in our homes — locked away from the virus raging outside — and also suffocated by them, when they become our entire worlds.

Getting ready to move has brought all of this into sharp focus: we needed a home that could serve as not just a home, but everything else, too. An apartment was no longer just an apartment.

Never have we demanded more of our homes, or spent more time in them.

Good things to read

I might be the first Second Gentleman, but I don’t want to be the last, GQ. An op-ed from America’s first second gentleman, Doug Emhoff.

‘My wine bills have gone down.’ How Joan Didion is weathering the pandemic, Time.

The Facebook group where it’s always 2009, Huck Mag. 2009 was a great year!!

What is a teenage girl?, New York Times.

How nothingness became everything we wanted, New York Times Magazine.

Inaugural poet Amanda Gorman on her career-defining address and paying homage to Maya Angelou, Vogue.

Welcome to the graveyard of New Year’s Resolutions, New York Times. Remember less than a month ago when we set all those resolutions? Ha!

Good things to cook

The best thing I cooked this week was Julia Turshen’s turkey ricotta meatballs, which were incredible (and makes a huge batch, so now I have extra portions stashed in my freezer for a rainy day). I also made this kale sauce pasta (so easy!) and this broiled salmon. And right now, I’ve got these braised short ribs with squash and chile simmering on the stove this afternoon.

I’ve also been getting into chia seed pudding for breakfast, making them the night before — I particularly liked this matcha one and this chocolate one, topped with some almonds, fruit, and coconut flakes.

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